Grease is the Word

I would like to preface this post with a self imposed "I told you so". As a rare diner at McDonald's, I found myself strangely allured by promises of real Angus beef, how Maccas is so committed to making their burgers taste great and murmurs of how it tasted distinctly un-Maccas like... With hope in my heart and a desire to believe in the power of good over evil, Junior and I headed off to meet Angus in his new home of the Golden Arches.

Uh... how you say... er... FAIL!

I know, I know- I have already done the "I told you so's"- let's move on.

Working as a team, Junior and I ordered a Mighty Angus and a Grand Angus each to sample the flavours of both Angus cousins.

I foolishly opted for the Grand Angus, thinking that the "gourmet" salad would be a nice inclusion to my meal. The "gourmet" lettuce must've been running out the door this particular day, as it was replaced by the dependable but limp iceberg understudy. It was also disconcerting when I picked the burger up to take my first bite and grease trickled down my hand. All I could smell was that distinct Maccas fake cheese before I even took the first bite. Lo and behold, it was all I could taste for the remainder of the meal and for hours afterwards. Hmmmph!

It was only then did I recall my colleague Browny, telling me about the time he ate an unmelted piece of that orange plastic they call cheese at Maccas and not only was he nearly sick, he tried to eat raw onion in the hope that its pungency would overpower the evil cheese but alas, the evil cheese proved too powerful and it lingered for days.

Junior's Mighty Angus, sans anything green, avec caramelised onion was a marginally better effort but I suspect this was due to only having one slice of the cheesus vomitus whereas my Grand (and I do use these terms very loosely) was lucky enough to have two.

So kids what have we learnt from this experience? You can never trust Maccas for anything except a guaranteed greasy meal that will repeat on you for days to come.

I also learnt that I should know better than to fall for gimmicky marketing even if the top bun does fall on a cute and jaunty angle.

Grand? Mighty? Why yes, if these words precede DISAPPOINTMENT.